Perhaps it’s more pronounced now that they’re home for the summer. Spending most of their waking hours together. In close quarters.
It’s not a big deal if we’re out somewhere, if their attention is diverted, if their hands and minds are busy with other things.
At home though, their energy and emotions, too big to be contained, erupt in huge, molten, fire storms. Shrieks of pain and frustration pierce the air at frequent intervals. Their complaints always begin with the same word.
“MOMMY!”
Fudge monkeys on a stick, what now?
“WHAT NOW?”
“He/She hit/kicked/poked/stabbed/scratched/struck/maimed/disemboweled/dismembered meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!”
“No I didn’t!”
“Yes you did!”
“Liar!”
“No, you’re the liar!”
“No, you’re the liar!”
“You’re trying to kill me!”
“No I’m not!”
“Yes you are!”
Come on.
There are only so many sibling feuds you can referee before you simply lose your patience and your compassion. I believe that number is approximately three.
There are only so many times you can say, “keep your hands to yourself,” “stop touching people,” “just stay the French away from each other,” before the last straw gives the camel a spinal cord injury and you enter the melee frothing and hot faced to say “I DON’T CARE. I REALLY DON’T CARE.”
Mommy doesn’t care who started it. She doesn’t care who retaliated. She doesn’t care who took what from anybody.
Not a little bit.
Not at all.
Yes, there are two sides to every story, but what I’ve discovered in the single week of summer we’ve just shared is that both sides are often equally full of crap. They tweak the details to their favor, they dramatize the sequence of events that led up to the throttling, they overplay their injuries, they out moan their counterparts.
The 15 year old is a hot-headed control freak.
The 11 year old is a deceitful bully.
The 7 year old is a gutless whiner.
The 3 year old is a perpetual victim who insists everyone who doesn’t submit to his demands is being MEAN to him. Everyone is mean to him. Throughout the day he is continuously targeted, poor sweet innocent creature, by every single member of the family. He’s got a huge bull’s-eye painted on his forehead, a sign taped to the back of his shirt that reads “Be Mean to Me Always!” Oh the injustice.
To me. It’s unfair to me.
My demands are simple.
- Don’t touch each other.
It’s the same rule they’ve been taught since Kindergarten – “keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself.” All the time. Every day.
Apparently siblings are the exception because they can’t keep their angry hands off each other.
It’s exhausting. It’s repetitious. It’s maddening.
It’s constant. Even when they’re getting along, they’re not really getting along. Peace accords last all of five minutes before the dreaded…
“MOMMY!”
I love them. I love that they have each other. Some day they’ll appreciate it. Until then all I can hope is I can learn to distinguish their angry-monkey-screeching from their I’m-legitimately-getting-murdered screeching.
Or I could just duct tape them to the furniture for the remainder of the summer.
Although I’m fairly certain they’d still find a way to annoy the crap out of me and each other.
They’re talented that way.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
My assignment for this week’s Spin Cycle was “pet peeves”, of which Jen was correct in assuming I have many.
Oh so many.
I tried to limit this post to one.
This topic in particular was so current and raw, that as I was writing it, the kids were just fanning the flames with fresh aggravating details.
My husband came up with an ingenious punishment this afternoon:
“You can’t keep your hands off each other? Here you go! Five minutes of close contact. Don’t move from that spot!”
Yes, he purposely intertwined their arms and legs.
They are actually weeping in revulsion and hiding their faces from the humiliation of photographic evidence.
Oh. The. Horror.
All I can say to that is AMEN! That is the very life I have been living for the past 3 weeks. I am considering getting a full time hjob ASAP!
Thanks for the giggle, good to know I’m not alone!
Lately, I’ve been responding to their disputes with “What’s that? Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak whine-ese.” But I have to confess there have been arguments that finished with me covering my ears saying “lalalalalalalalalalalalalala, I can’t hear you!”
Your husband is BRILLIANT!
I don’t even have to deal with this full time, since our version of sibling rivalry is between cousins that are as close as siblings but thankfully live on opposite sides of town, and it still drives me bat-sh!t crazy after only a few hours (on a good day). I can’t imagine how you guys deal with it everyday.
You married a brilliant man. He married a patient woman. The perfect combo in getting one over on those kids! You’re linked!
I would send the boys outside with the rule that they couldn’t come back in until called or if they had blood spurting. Spurting being the primary word. If your wound was just seeping don’t bother me. When my girlfriend’s boys were fighting she would send them outside with a couple of bottles of Windex and a roll of paper towels. They either got along or washed windows; their choice.
Your husband had the right idea.
I fall firmly in the duct-tape camp. Especially during summer.
And you know all those people who swear that sibs who fight as kids become great friends as adults?
CRAP. Just crap.
I love that you tell me the truth, that I can see it and hear it and I’m not alone. Thank you! I’ve also said “if you can’t play together nicely, everyone needs to go live in their room!” It worked one day, they were in their rooms across the hall talking but not going over the lines for an hour! it was almost quiet!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Best post ever. So freaking true!! It’s like you are looking straight into my home, seeing my four children (though they are a touch younger than yours) interact and perfectly transcribing our reality.
I thought I was the only mom who said, “DON’T TOUCH EACH OTHER.” Now I don’t feel so bad for saying that.
Our punishment is the same as your hubby’s idea – we send them to the room that they share and tell them not to come out until they are friends again. The other day my 7 year old and 4 year old continued their physical fight up there for another 5 minutes or so. It was crazy.
Anyway, sorry you have to deal with this annoying stuff too, but so glad to see that I am not alone!
How many times have I told you to stop peeking in my windows to steal my life for your blog?
This is every freaking day at my house since school got out. This morning Chick made ‘tea’. She gave a cup to her brother who refused to even let it sit next to him at the table. She went into Hold My Breath Till I Pass Out I’m So Pissed At You mode. I swear to you, it’s like living in a tv drama and I don’t know where the heck the remote is to turn it off.
Is it too early to throw back a drink??
I knew there was a reason the universe decided I should only have one kid. I lost my mind long ago, but having days like you’re having? Would have probably pushed me over the edge. You’re my hero.
I was one of six kids and I know exactly what you’re talking about! I can’t imagine being the mom on the other side of it! Godspeed.
Fun times, huh?!
I think you better stock up on the aspirin! It’s going to be a long summer!
Good idea either force them to play twister or send them all to different summer camps!
Oh, I can so relate. And I love your husband’s solution! Genius, pure genius. I tried a solution a friend swore by, which was to separate the kids for a long periods of time, but all that resulted was the kids screaming from their respective rooms about how they want to play with each other. Sigh. I think the best solution is to run away from home.
Sounds like you are spying on my house!
Except my 10 year old is the control freak
My 6 year old is on meds and has many problems
My four year old is a bully
My 2 year old….well, you just better bow down to her every demand.
Sound familiar? lol
Did I say I can’t stand the word Mommy by the end of the day!
Best punishment ever.
Seriously reconsidering the whole “sibling” thing for X.
Wow, this brings back the memories… 2 boys both in their twenties now, but I had exact plays going on:) Delightful read!
Oh I laughed so hard I cried, but only cuz I’ve so been there. I have a reprieve now that one has moved in with her bf but I’m sure when they break up she’ll be back home and it will all start again. So many times I’ve just wanted to lock them in a room until only one was left standing and then my problems would be solved. But I didn’t. *sigh*
Good luck with the rest of the summer!
I will be having something for you on Monday’s post. Come on by and get it.
I wish I could tell you it gets better. I guess the physical fighting drops off. But as teens they will carp and snipe at each other until you want to back hand them all. Or drink excessively. Eventually, they’ll all move out. At least that’s often the light at the end of my tunnel. =]
I broke them of physical fighting by assiging them the others chores. Like when Lu shoved Sean headfirst into the dining room table, she got to clean the garage for him. It worked for us.
felling your pain,
♥Spot
Wow. That was a creative punishment. I’m in awe.
This brings back strong memories of annoyingness. Must repress memories. Need drugs.
Awesome *chuckle* just great! lol! LOVE the photo included in this! HA! Yes, it’s frustrating isn’t it? I have simple rules too like you. Doesn’t work for me either.
)
We are just starting the whole be nice to your brother phase as Bruiser can’t stand up for himself quite yet but it is only a matter of time. Creative solutions are the best because the kids remember them–sometimes.
SO funny! I’m stealing that punishment.
I totally love that punishment and may try it the next time. Another one that works is you are not allowed to talk to or look at each other. My kids then start to work together to get something accomplished. I don’t understand it at all but it seems to work here.
You know I feel ya, sister. Sibling relationships are the worst of them all when they’re fighting. At least out in the world, our kids are somehow able to keep their arms and legs to themselves but with siblings, all bets are off. We have NFL style tackling at our house daily. Several times daily, to be exact. Let’s swap kids. Two of yours for two of mine. Hahha, I take the older ones.
Thanks for coming by to visit me on my SITS day! Hope you have a wonderful week!
OMG!!!!!!!! Mine are constantly fighting and bickering. I can’t stand it. I was so relieved to hear that you yell back at them “I don’t care!” That’s how it was today..I was to the point where I was like, “Unless someone’s eyeballs have fallen out onto the floor, I don’t want to hear about it”.
How on earth are we both gonna make it through summer with a full head of hair???
Heh! Did your husband’s plan work? I need tips. I can’t look the other direction without my preschooler pushing down his baby brother, swiping a toy out of his hands or pushing the toy far away out of his reach. It’s *maddening.* I am hoping and praying, secretly sort of but not really but maybe for real I am, that the baby grows fast and strong and starts pushing back to give the preschooler some of his own medicine.
From what I can see from my five nieces, this describes it perfectly –the sibling smack-a-thon!
There were 8 years between my brother and I, so not much of this went on, unless you refer to the time he punched me in the stomach for being annoying. Yeah…well, that was very interesting.
And the part about the three year old? Since I have one…Yeah, I totally get that. He’s in that stage too.
Really? Siblings not getting along? What are the odds?
We still haven’t started summer vacation so I’m not dealing with that yet. Yet would be the key word.
When our oldest two girls were little I used to put them both on a bench together until they stopped arguing. They hated that. Yes!
Amen! I am not the least bit surprised to see 31 commenters agree with you. Why must they (children) make our lives so difficult – especially considering we are just dying to admire the angelic crap out of them.