This is a plastic representation of what my brain should look like (I mean I think it is, I’m not studying anatomy or anything, so…):
This is a food representation of my brain after I’ve spent two days cleaning up little boy vomit and writing a paper that was due at 10 pm tonight which I subsequently finished at about 9:35 pm tonight even though I’ve had ample time to write it way before the puking even started so the joke is on me. Which is why my brain looks like bacon with a side of egg and not like egg with a side of bacon. Also everyone knows bacon beats egg and egg is only there as an artistic garnish.
This is the face my brain would make if it was completely circular and yellow and had buggy eyes. Especially since my wispy haired professor hasn’t confirmed receipt of my paper and for all I know the internet just chewed it up and digested it and now I don’t even know if I’ll get a full night’s sleep because possibly there will be stomach flu related complications in the wee hours because mostly that is how life works when there is a barfing curse floating around and also I feel a little nauseous myself and I don’t know if it’s because I legitimately am sick or I am just feeling burpy pangs of paper angst or sympathy burps of mother angst or some combination of both. Also I’m smelling ghost puke and I don’t know if it’s a premonition of barf to come or a lingering of barfs past. Plus I still have one more paper to write and we still need a Christmas tree and my youngest is turning five in two weeks and Christmas is around the corner and there’s all that shopping to do and what happens when all four kids are puking and I still have to buy the teachers gifts and I don’t have any ideas for that last paper and I think I’m going to cry because we’re out of chocolate and I should be sleeping because I don’t know when the kids will wake up and…
Stop.
